Newsgroups: alt.flame,alt.retribution,alt.nuke.the.USA,alt.good.morning
Subject: Scott needs OUR help to remember who he is...
Date: Sat, 25 Jan 1997 22:39:24 GMT

NB: I have little interest in the affairs of alt.flame, however, it
appears that one of your number is suffering from severe amnesia and I
feel duty bound to help the poor afflicted soul remember just who he
is.

FyRe wrote:
><< Due to the subject title, this is a no-flame zone ;) >>
               ^^^^^^^^^^^^^
What's with the new found enthusiasm for excuses?

><Heh> This is rich, from someone who doubtless had to pour half a 
>can of Easy-start into his PC to fire it up, after his half year hibernation
>period! I'll have you know [shakes stick]

> I launched an 

Strange that your heoric "assault" coincided with "AntU - Newsgroup of
the month" being posted to a.f. 

Come to think of it, if you cast your mind back to the summer before
that *swirly swirly time travel effects, as we travel back to 1995*,
there was a rather epic af/antU conflagration in response to us
rewriting your bag o' shite faq for you..

Who knows? Maybe next summer a.f will launch another assault... I
haven't exactly decided when you sad fucks are going to do it, but
I'll pencil you in for August 12.

SUCKERS!

***************
>(ill advised)
***************
     /|\
      |
      |

Read: "I am soooo sorry.. I have infinitely less talent than Keith
Chegwin's smegma and I am an utter, utter fool for ever believing I
could take on anything more formidable than alt.flame..."

>largely one man assault upon antU, 

As I recall, it was one Boy of Flame and a whole host of a.f droolers
who either ended up announcing defeat, or starting cascades with 
each other.

>and took plenty of the bastards out

NAME ONE!?! 

On behalf of Miller, I claim:

Potter "My employers say I can't post flames anymore" 

And for myself, I claim:

FyRE "I have to go on holiday now, so we'll call it quits, eh?".

>before the "weight of numbers problem" cropped up.
             ^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^
Not "running out of material and having to resort to 'Ronnie likes to
touch men's bottoms'" then?

>Take a look in there
>now, all the top flamers gone: Andrew/, Ronald Seegers, Cholo etc.

Oh right, "Andrew, Seegers, Cholo etc were all spanked off usenet by
the one and only FyRED Boy of Flame - Amiga Owner, JavaScript 
Guru and erstwhile Startrek Enthusiast."

Allow me to introduce you to Mr Reality - In september the "top
flamers" of antU assumed the mantle of alt.syntax.tactical and left
the group to it's own devices while they went on to seek pastures new.
I myself resigned from the mailing list in November for various
reasons...  Even if you don't feel like returning calls from Mr
Reality, ask yourself this: Why did the "top flamers" leave while
Raider stayed?


PS: Hugs to everyone on alt.good.morning!! 





From: FyRE 
Newsgroups: alt.flame,alt.retribution,alt.nuke.the.USA,alt.good.morning
Subject: Re: Scott needs OUR help to remember who he is...
Date: Jan 1997 18:20:03 +0000

In article <5ce24a$lpc@something>, Ronald 
<ronald@somewhere> writes

>NB: I have little interest in the affairs of alt.flame, 

Don't worry, the feeling is mutual.

>however, it
>appears that one of your number is suffering from severe amnesia and I
>feel duty bound to help the poor afflicted soul remember just who he
>is.

Thanks doctor Spock. I keep getting these flashbacks of being 
surrounded by supermodels (no, not fucking airfix kits) offering me 
silver trays of white powder; my walls are covered in platinum disks 
and Patsy Kensit keeps calling me up. Please help.

>FyRE <FyRE@tiktok.demon.co.uk> wrote:
>><< Due to the subject title, this is a no-flame zone ;) >>
>               ^^^^^^^^^^^^^
>What's with the new found enthusiasm for excuses?
>
>><Heh> This is rich, from someone who doubtless had to pour half 
>>a can of  Easy-start into his PC to fire it up, after his half year 
>>hibernation period! I'll have you know [shakes stick]
>
>> I launched an 
>
>Strange that your heoric "assault" coincided with "AntU - Newsgroup of
>the month" being posted to a.f. 

It's also strange that /you/ didn't mention that it had been posted
several times in the previous months. I felt sorry for you and decided
to put all you molluscs out of your misery.

[...Seegers plays with his little willy for a while...]

>***************
>>(ill advised)
>***************
>     /|\
>      |
>      |

How long did that lovely graphic take you then?

>Read: "I am soooo sorry.. I have infinitely less talent than Keith
>Chegwin's smegma and I am an utter, utter fool for ever believing I
>could take on anything more formidable than alt.flame..."

Sounds as though you've been taking too much material from "Red Dwarf"
on board. Did you get dressed up in a Kryten style rubber suit before
posting this, jelly head?

>>largely one man assault upon antU, 
>
>As I recall, 

[klaxton sounds: Fib approaching at 20 knots]

>it was one Boy of Flame and a whole host of a.f droolers
>who either ended up announcing defeat, or starting cascades with each
>other.

You forgot to add "The moon's made of cheese", "Elvis works in Bejam"
and "I, Ronny Seegers am not a trekkie".

>>and took plenty of the bastards out
>
>NAME ONE!?! 

No, because you shouted. But as you yourself said:

>"Andrew, Seegers, Cholo etc were all spanked off usenet by
>the one and only FyRED Boy of Flame

...during a brief moment of lucidity.

>On behalf of Miller, I claim:
>
>Potter "My employers say I can't post flames anymore" 

Well that IS something to brag about. If I were Miller (and didn't have
the self respect necessary to commit suicide as a result) I'd be 
damned ashamed it took so long to off that hapless prick. If he's 
interested there are a few more "Potters" no-one else can be 
bothered with right now - "Apocalyptic Aardvark" (tragic, isn't it?) 
and "Lee Jackson Beaureguard" to name but two. Perhaps we'll 
refer to Miller as the Usenet trashman from now on.

>And for myself, I claim:
>
>FyRE "I have to go on holiday now, so we'll call it quits, eh?".

Is that what you kept telling yourself as you waddled off, leaving so
many threads unanswered? Dejanews doesn't lie, Seegers. You were 
punch-drunk, on the ropes and out on your feet. The only reason your 
team couldn't throw the towel in was that I'd broken all their arms... 
and your fat head was in the way... and none of your friends own a 
towel... and you don't have any friends... and the only ring you've ever 
been in required the use of KY jelly... etc...

>>before the "weight of numbers problem" cropped up.
>             ^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^
>Not "running out of material and having to resort to 'Ronnie likes to
>touch men's bottoms'" then?

Correct. Why should I say such a thing?

>>Take a look in there
>>now, all the top flamers gone: Andrew/, Ronald Seegers, Cholo etc.
>
>Oh right, "Andrew, Seegers, Cholo etc were all spanked off usenet by
>the one and only FyRED Boy of Flame - Amiga Owner, JavaScript 
>Guru and erstwhile Startrek Enthusiast."

[Polishes fingernails on lapel before examining the perfect cuticles]

Eeeeyep.

>Allow me to introduce you to Mr Reality

Another of your drinking partners?

> - In september the "top
>flamers" 

Glad you used quotes there, Ron. I like people to see it's a relative
thing...

>of antU assumed the mantle of alt.syntax.tactical and left
>the group to it's own devices while they went on to seek pastures new.

"And after following the directions for "Burns ward" for a few minutes, 
the folk of antU were delivered into their Nirvana. A brilliant white
light, angelic faced sisters of mercy, tubs of pie ointment and skin
grafts were bestowed upon the usenet exiles. Their crumpled faces did
light up in cherubic smiles as the various balms were applied to their
nether regions." - Excerpt from the Feb'97 antU faq "Epilogue of antU"

>I myself resigned from the mailing list in November for various
>reasons...  

Wonder why. Could it be:

The constant chants of "Fuck off Seegers" in your mail?
Your mother finding the jpegs of the other "flamers" groins on your PC?
You could no longer bear to listen to all those "grown men" crying?

>Even if you don't feel like returning calls from Mr
>Reality, ask yourself this: Why did the "top flamers" leave while
>Raider stayed?

Why do people smear shit on toilet cubicle walls?

Perhaps you hope his presence (such as it is) will remind people of 
you all.

>PS: Hugs to everyone on alt.good.morning!! 

Ah! A new group for the crossposts <chuckle>...

-- 
FyRE                                   < The Caper Continues... >


From: ronald
Newsgroups: alt.flame,alt.retribution,alt.nuke.the.USA,alt.good.morning
Subject: Re: Scott needs OUR help to remember who he is...
Date: Feb 1997 23:37:06 GMT

FyRE <FyRE@tiktok.demon.co.uk> wrote:

>In article <5ce24a$lpc@somewhere>, Ronald 
><ronald@somewhere> writes

>>NB: I have little interest in the affairs of alt.flame, 

>Don't worry, the feeling is mutual.

>>however, it
>>appears that one of your number is suffering from severe amnesia and 
>>I feel duty bound to help the poor afflicted soul remember just who he
>>is.

>Thanks doctor Spock. I keep getting these flashbacks of being 
>surrounded by supermodels (no, not fucking airfix kits) offering me 
>silver trays of white powder; my walls are covered in platinum disks 
> and Patsy Kensit keeps calling me up. Please help.

It's called false memory. I recommend you soak your head in bleach for
an hour each day.. Works every time!

That'll be £500 plus Vat please.

NEXT. 

>>Strange that your heoric "assault" coincided with "AntU - Newsgroup 
>>of the month" being posted to a.f. 

>It's also strange that /you/ didn't mention that it had been posted
>several times in the previous months. I felt sorry for you and decided
>to put all you molluscs out of your misery.

Awww look, lil' FyRE has fucked up again. 

"AntU - Newsgroup of the Month" was based on the current issue of PC
Format (Games are K3w1 - Free tube of zit cream with every issue,
etc). It seems somewhat unlikely that Andrew managed to post details
from the *current* issue "several times in the previous months", don't
you think?.. well.. evidently not.

>[...Seegers plays with his little willy for a while...]

[FyRE pops a large avocado in the microwave... (Why remains,
mercifully, a mystery.)]

>>***************
>>>(ill advised)
>>***************
>>     /|\
>>      |
>>      |

>How long did that lovely graphic take you then?

Marginally longer than it took you to copy and paste all that
javascript.

>>Read: "I am soooo sorry.. I have infinitely less talent than Keith
>>Chegwin's smegma and I am an utter, utter fool for ever believing I
>>could take on anything more formidable than alt.flame..."

>Sounds as though you've been taking too much material from "Red 
>Dwarf" on board. Did you get dressed up in a Kryten style rubber suit 
>before posting this, jelly head?

Hardly. 'Keith Chegwin admits "I have no talent"' is more a Viz
thing... Still, you never were very good at references were you,
Spocky?

>>>largely one man assault upon antU, 
>>
>>As I recall, 

>[klaxton sounds: Fib approaching at 20 knots]

>>it was one Boy of Flame and a whole host of a.f droolers
>>who either ended up announcing defeat, or starting cascades with
>>each other.

>You forgot to add "The moon's made of cheese", "Elvis works in 
>Bejam" and "I, Ronny Seegers am not a trekkie".

So you deny that a.f droolers started cascading on antU?

Try this then.. Limit a Deja search to antU and search for the word
"fuckhead". I would be *very* surprised if it doesnt return a list of
all your little a.f pals. 

>>>and took plenty of the bastards out
>>
>>NAME ONE!?! 

>No, because you shouted. But as you yourself said:

>>"Andrew, Seegers, Cholo etc were all spanked off usenet by
>>the one and only FyRED Boy of Flame

>...during a brief moment of lucidity.

If only your creativity extended beyond editing.

>>On behalf of Miller, I claim:
>>
>>Potter "My employers say I can't post flames anymore" 

>Well that IS something to brag about. If I were Miller (and didn't have
>the self respect necessary to commit suicide as a result) I'd be 
>damned ashamed it took so long to off that hapless prick.

Does the name Raider mean anything to you?

> If he's interested
>there are a few more "Potters" no-one else can be bothered with right
>now - "Apocalyptic Aardvark" (tragic, isn't it?) and "Lee Jackson
>Beaureguard" to name but two. Perhaps we'll refer to Miller as the
>Usenet trashman from now on.

As we both know, a public admission of defeat is an extremely rare and
beautiful thing. Polio and Potter represent the only examples I have
ever seen - You solicited NO SUCH admission from anyone on antU.

>>And for myself, I claim:
>>
>>FyRE "I have to go on holiday now, so we'll call it quits, eh?".

>Is that what you kept telling yourself as you waddled off, leaving so
>many threads unanswered? Dejanews doesn't lie, Seegers. You were 
>punch-drunk, on the ropes and out on your feet. The only reason your 
>team couldn't throw the towel in was that I'd broken all their arms... and
>your fat head was in the way... and none of your friends own a towel...
>and you don't have any friends... and the only ring you've ever been in
>required the use of KY jelly... etc...

Let us abandon the charms of FANYTASY FUCKING ISLAND for a moment 
and return to specific examples. During your summer "assault" you backed
off from (among others) the following:

1.	A 700 line reply on FRyED Boy of Flame. 

Up until that rather noticeable climb down from YOU, I had replied to
every single post you directed at me... (Incidentally, I noticed that
you are now picking on Alanis Morresete fans.. Inspired!.. Where *do*
you get your ideas?)

2.	My last post in the Boy of Flame thread.

And as I was *so* curious to see how you were going to squirm your way
out of it, I've included a sample so you can have another go. No!
Don't thank me.. It was the least I could do.

********* FyRE on Technology. *************

>>I'll tell you what would bother me.. Having a homepage that says: 
>>"Orientation: Heterosexual."
>>Might as well have:

>>"<H1><BLINK>SAD WANKER</BLINK></H1>"

>True, this could conceivably be an option, but I think I'll
>stick with my own idea. Nice effort, putting the html tags
>in though, although that particular part (the text) is 
>placed on the page by

>my "Java applet" (- H.Miller),

You were the one trying to pass off your copied scripts as Java... If
Miller is confused about the difference between Java and Java Script,
it's due to claims made by your horrible little homepage.

>and so the tags wouldn't have worked. 

Yo! Mr Web Master.

Try putting this in your "Java applet":

document.write("<H1><BLINK>Fyre doesn't know what he is 
talking about.</BLINK></H1>");

Why on earth did you buy that QUE book anyway?.. Did it have a 
pretty picture on the cover or something?

************ FyRE on Geography. *************

"I stay outside the capitol at weekends, at my home
where this machine is and so can access my account."

and then

>I've always lived in London.

************ FyRE on Geography... again ********

>Now dead, my mother is buried there [Norwich].
--
"It's quite a distance on any form of roadgoing transport,
particularly the cross channel section. Luckily I 
only visit the cemetary once a year tops..."

>Apologise as soon as you like...

Just as soon as you explain how you ended up crossing the channel 
on your way from London to Norwich.

************************************************


BTW, How come your web page no longer says "Orientation:
Heterosexual.".. Was it something I said? or are you just not so sure
anymore?

>>>before the "weight of numbers problem" cropped up.
>>             ^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^
>>Not "running out of material and having to resort to 'Ronnie likes to
>>touch men's bottoms'" then?

>Correct. Why should I say such a thing?

I dunno, FyRE. Is it perhaps because gay lames are still regarded as
the height of wit on alt.flame?

>>>Take a look in there
>>>now, all the top flamers gone: Andrew/, Ronald Seegers, Cholo etc.
>>
>>Oh right, "Andrew, Seegers, Cholo etc were all spanked off usenet by
>>the one and only FyRED Boy of Flame - Amiga Owner, JavaScript 
>>Guru and erstwhile Startrek Enthusiast."

>[Polishes fingernails on lapel before examining the perfect cuticles]

>Eeeeyep.

What a ponce... Anyway, Ian didn't even exchange posts with you so 
you might as well as add sjb and Doug to your list. I am sure a.f will be
impressed. (but then, they probably think that opposable thumbs trick
is pretty neat too.)

>>Allow me to introduce you to Mr Reality

>Another of your drinking partners?

>> - In september the "top flamers" 

>Glad you used quotes there, Ron. I like people to see it's a relative
>thing...

>>of antU assumed the mantle of alt.syntax.tactical and left
>>the group to it's own devices while they went on to seek pastures new.

>"And after following the directions for "Burns ward" for a few minutes, 
>the folk of antU were delivered into their Nirvana. A brilliant white
>light, angelic faced sisters of mercy, tubs of pie ointment and skin
>grafts were bestowed upon the usenet exiles. Their crumpled faces did
>light up in cherubic smiles as the various balms were applied to their
>nether regions." - Excerpt from the Feb'97 antU faq "Epilogue of antU"

I refuse to be drawn into defending antU's pint sized invasion force.
(Lets just say things didn't go immensely well and it was everyone
else's fault.)

Gloat over their failings if you like (I know I do.), but do not FOR
ONE FUCKING MOMENT believe your own actions had any consequence  
on antU.

[...]

From: ITHOMAS
Newsgroups: alt.flame,alt.retribution,alt.nuke.the.USA,alt.good.morning
Subject: Re: Scott needs OUR help to remember who he is...
Date: Feb 97 16:35:07 EST

In article <855456028snz@somewhere>
andrew@somewhere (Andrew/) writes:
 
>In article <rWpBpLA7VN$yEw9i@tiktok.demon.co.uk>
>           FyRE@tiktok.demon.co.uk "FyRE" writes:
>
>> Perhaps you'd like to enlighten us as to why the follow-up to your
>> aforementioned cascade was from another antU member then? And 
>> the next, and the next.
>
>You're asking *me* what motivates other people to post? Go ask 'em
>yourself.
>
>BTW. I made the first post of the series. Right? A cascade begins,
>by definition, on the follow-up post. Right?
 
A fuckhead cascade begins with a fuckhead:  you fit the bill, hence its
your cascade.  The interesting thing here (besides the empty booming 
sound yer knobby leetle skull makes every time someone thwaps it) is 
that you made fuckhead history by fuckheadedly calling one on yerself.  
I've never seen it done before, but you carried it off like the master 
autoflamer (and Fuckhead 2nd Class) that you are.  Most impressive.
 
>So how the fuck was it *my* cascade?
 
You can safely assume that every time you see the word 'fuckhead' in 
the text of any Usenet post, it's your cascade.
 
-----------------------------------------------------------------------
Ian
 
Red Cross Representative, alt.flame
 
'Jesus is coming.  Everyone look busy.'
 


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rill.news.pipex.net!pipex!btnet!netkonect!usenet
From: ronald
Newsgroups: alt.flame,alt.retribution,alt.nuke.the.USA,alt.good.morning
Subject: Re: Scott needs OUR help to remember who he is...
Date: Feb 1997 23:53:45 GMT


FyRE <FyRE@tiktok.demon.co.uk> wrote:
>In article <5d0k4l$39f@somewhere>, Ronald 
><ronald@somewhere> writes

>>>It's also strange that /you/ didn't mention that 
>>>it ["AntU - Newsgroup of the Month"] had been posted....
   ^^
>>"AntU - Newsgroup of the Month" was based on the current issue of PC
>>Format (Games are K3w1 - Free tube of zit cream with every issue,
>>etc). It seems somewhat unlikely that Andrew managed to post details
>>from the *current* issue "several times in the previous months", don't
>>you think?.. well.. evidently not.

>What I meant...[snip]

Shut the fuck up, you whining little tosspot.

>Every piece of javascript on my site is all my own work. I challenge,
>nay, beg you, to prove different. Well, fucking go on then...

I had another peak at your homage to JavaScript By Example and it's
exactly the same code as before.. You've just got round to taking out
those embarrassing comments.

>No, one look as the reference line in the header is proof of how bad my
>taste is. There's no way you can wriggle out of your use of the RD term 
>smegma either, 

I looked it up in the OED: 

Smegma n. Knob cheese. Used in the manufacture of parmesan.

It did not say:

Smegma n. Like Rimmer outta Red Dwarf. 

>in fact the name "Rimmer" fits you well, Ronny: Ronny
>"Rimmer" Seegers; has a "ring" to it...

"You nick all your material from RD coz you're just like Rimmer, only
without the charm... Smeeeeg head! Smeggy Smeggy.".. 

>>>You forgot to add "The moon's made of cheese", "Elvis works in Bejam"
>>>and "I, Ronny Seegers am not a trekkie".

[Fyre calls me a liar for pointing out that he was not on a "largely
one man assault upon antU" and that he actually arrived on the same
spaz mobile as Team Cascade.]

>Well, as /I/ recall, there was only me, npeal and ithomas doing any
>>actual flaming at any point. The idiots cascading are neither my allies
>nor flamers of any consequence.... 

[And then admits it was "Largely one man... apart from all the other
babbling simpletons, obviously."]

>(You know the sad thing, there is actually an a.f. award catagory for
>"Top cascader" - like it's an achievement to slap 8 keys, hit return
>and post...)

Ever wondered why even the clogs on antU always felt justified in
claiming they were "vaarstly superior" to alt.flame?

>/I/ also recall a cascade started by a certain antU poster, to which
>several responded (monkey see, monkey do). Or do you deny this?

Once.. as an ironic gesture or something... anyway, I have never ever,
ever posted to a cascade thread. 

>>>Well that IS something to brag about. If I were Miller (and didn't have
>>>the self respect necessary to commit suicide as a result) I'd be 
>>>damned ashamed it took so long to off that hapless prick.
>>
>>Does the name Raider mean anything to you?

>Isn't is a usenet synonym - a little like those warnings we have before
>a particularly offensive tv program, only in this case it quite
>literally means "incredibly shite post approaching".

And isn't it strange that he has always been your playmate of choice?
I would be "damned ashamed" to have been seen frolicking across 
usenet with that "hapless prick." for "so long".

>Start Repost:---------------------------------------------------------

[Alanis Morresset's amazing capacity for semem.]

>End Repost:-----------------------------------------------------------

>How can you /not/ enjoy taunting people this amazingly gullible?

A classic find... I particularly like the way he reasoned that it
probably involved several men.. That sort of lateral thinking is the
mark of a true rocket scientist. 

>>2.     My last post in the Boy of Flame thread.

>Yeah, I remember responding to that.

Liar.. At the time I was using pubnews.demon, so you haven't even got
the dodgy newsfeed line to fall back on.

You DID NOT reply and I defy you to come up with a message id which
references <322a2dff.0@somewhere>

(You know, I'd have let you run with a modicum of dignity, but you had
to start squealing about spanking me to your a.f pals when you thought
I wasn't looking, didn't you?)

[...]

>>You were the one trying to pass off your copied scripts as Java... 

>It is Java - Java+script = Java Script, see how that part works?
>Java+applet=Java Applet is another example. Before you get all carried
>away though, you must remember this isn't a unified theory.
>Ronny+keyboard for instance = embarrasment. Somthing for you to go 
>away and think about.

>I never mentioned Java Applets anywhere on the old site. You can't 
>blame the boys confused state on anything I've done.

'JavaScript' is ONE word and refers to netscape's interpreted
language.
 
'Java' refers to Sun's compiled language. (Anyone can look this stuff
up on sun and netscapes web pages, so don't even think about 
claiming otherwise.)

Your web page referred to 'Java', yet only contained copied
JavaScript.

Ergo: FyRE + HTML Textbook + Demon account = Feeble tissue of 
lies. 

>>Why on earth did you buy that QUE book anyway?.. 

>Take a wild guess. Now why would I have bought a book about writing
>Scripts for web pages? Toughy...

Ummm.. Because you're a talentless little hacker D00d wannabe and 
you can't even master some tinker toy language like Javascript without 
a big fat CD full of example code to crib from?

>>Just as soon as you explain how you ended up crossing the channel 
>>on your way from London to Norwich.

>She's buried in Norwich, France - a little known village.


	 	A YEAR IN NORWICH
		-----------------

With John "Armed Blaggers on my manor" Thaw and Lindsey "Saggy 
Tits" Duncan.

*An aged ford granada is screaming round the back streets of that
little known french village, Norwich* 

LD: "Are you sure this is Provence?. It's all so... depressing. Not a
bit like Peter Malles nice book" 
JT: "Shut it, Bitch. My snout aint let me down yet".. [puddles are
splashed through, boxes are driven over... finally the granada
screeches to a jaunty halt outside NatWest* 
LD: "Darling! What a silly place to park... we're miles from the
quaint cafes described in Peter Malles book.. In fact we appear to be
in a rather dull East Anglian town."
JT: "Shut it bitch, and get the shooters"
LD: "I think we can abandon the Sweeny thing now... It really isn't
funny"
JT: "How about being the grumpy old pisshead detective from Oxford?"
LD: "No."
JT: "OK then, let's start taunting the frog peasants with our vast
disposable income."

*An authentic Norwich peasant called FyRE wanders into scene*

LD: "BONJOUR, FROG PEASANT! OU LE SHOPS AVEC LE 
CHEAP BOOZE?"
FyRE #1: "Oh aarr, boy... Yous be wanting le Sainsburies. Avec le 
very reasonable Australian chardonay"   
JT: "Merci little french peasant person." 
LD: "Hang on... While he smells and is certainly stupid enough to 
eat snails, there is something not quite right here."
LD [to peasant]: "What's the frog for 'spindly'?"
FyRE: "Le spindly?"
*LD slaps alleged frog so violently his stupid beret falls off*
FyRE [sobbing]: "All right... I admit it. This isn't France. But I
thought I could fool everyone into believing I wasn't some spoddy
teenager by claiming my mother was dead.. Then I got all confused
about where exactly she was supposed to be buried.. Please forgive 
me, Lindsey... You've got much better middle aged tits than Jane Asher 
and Felicity Kendel put together, and it certainly doesn’t disgust people
when you insist on getting them out on telly." 
JT: "Get the shooters out?"
LD: "Fuckin A"

*fade to black*


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