One of the basic rules on AGM is a no flaming rule. This is considered to be an almost "holy commandment", stricly adhered to. Most AGMers feel that this rule is essential for keeping the unique atmosphere of AGM. "I feel it is important because AGM is like a world-wide family and flaming wants to split the family apart." (Caruso, personal communication via E-mail)

Syren describes why this is so important to her:
"I feel very strongly that the anti flame rule is a very essential part of AGM...I try to adhere to it, no matter what I may think inside. But then there is rarely any time on AGM when I feel any "flame thoughts". Anyway, when one of those people stray into AGM, most certainly, the only way to deal with them is to ignore them. This has been proven effective sooooo many times....hard to believe that some can't seem to grasp that idea. Anyway, I don't deal with filters and all that mess...I just delete anything that isn't an AGM poster...you can just look in the headers..or at least, I can. Anyway, I have become familier with the "D" key....works well. I don't have the time to waste on foolish people that just come along to see what a rise they can get out of someone who might be so silly as to respond to them. Pretty much sums up my attitude about them." (Personal communication via E-mail)

Brenda sees the anti-flame rule as one of the main reasons that she subscribed to AGM: "The main reason I decided to stay with AGM was the no flaming rule. I had been lurking in some other groups and found it really disturbing that some people were so eager to call another an asshole, they sometimes didn't even address what had been written. The hostility was a little frightning. I unsubscribed to a lot of groups because they were full of flamers." (Personal communication via E-mail).

The anti-flame rule is also important, due to the very personal nature of posts posted to AGM. When people discuss very personal issues, they need to know that they will be respected for their candor. Sharing feelings isn't easy, and being flamed for it is very painful. Cyril claims that "The outstanding feature of AGM is the willingness of members to bare their souls to each other. I know that there is a lot of discussion about the ease with which one can disguise oneself on the Internet, even making sex-changes ad lib. But for me, taking messages at their face value is my way to function, and in my own contacts with AGMers, either through the group or by personal e-mail contact, I have always been completely frank in my remarks and in self-description. And I have felt the same attitude coming in from the outside. Because of this quality, a flame becomes a deadly weapon. We are left without a shield -- it's as if one's confidences in a trusted friend had been betrayed. I hate the idea that some of the thugs and morons who frequent the Internet can go into the group and read posts that are, in many cases, very personal and often poignantly affecting to both the writer and the reader. To me it feels as if a bunch of neo-Nazis/skinheads were gate- crashing a private and intimate gathering of close friends." (Personal communication via E-mail)

Flamers are not thought of kindly, to say the least, as can be seen by mail from some AGMers:

"Flaming doesn't allow for serious exchange of ideas and thoughts. I think it's a province of stupid people who don't understand what they are reading and strike out at the writer. Their self-esteem is so low in real life, that perhaps flaming is the only way they can feel good for themselves. I kind of feel sorry for them." (Brenda, personal communication via E-mail)

Some see AGM as an extension of society, and the anti-flame rule as an extension of everyday social norms: "Hmmmmmm well I think, it's just like irl. Being rude to people is being treated as not-done, specially not in front of a big audiance. I don't know who set the rules, but I feel comfortable with them. But although flames are not done, it is still 'allowed' to express your opinion, which can have a strong 'corrective' message in it, and this without being rude or offensive to the person in question." (Personal communication via E-mail).

The flame war can be seen as a continuation of RL in other ways too:

"I think that in some small way we have experienced one of the problems that are typical of our World. Do we retaliate when under attack? Is it better to risk escallating the whole thing by replying in kind or do we stick to our principals? It would be great to have the flamers return one day as true AGMers and I would truely welcome them.

The whole episode has highlighted for me the very human frailties which we have. While posters to AGM reflect the spirit of AGM (Tollerance, Caring, Love, Friendship etc) we all act and respond in a similar manner. When threatened, however, it is hard to maintain those principals." (Chris43, personal communication via E-mail).

Uvi, on the other hand, sees AGM as something different from real life, that does not exist in the real life that surrounds us.

She feels that the "No Flaming" rule "is very important, as it makes AGM a safe place for people to express their views and feelings freely, and makes sure we will not sink in the mud of revenging and flaming back whenever someone flames us. But, I don't know if it can be thought of an extention of real life society, as some people said it is. AGM is a unique place and the relations among the people in it are unique just because of this rule, and just because real life is _not_ like this. I remember that after meeting those people IRL I had the urge to hug every person I see, and had to remind myself "this is real life".. It would have been wonderful if all the world followed the "no flaming" rule, but unfortunately there are too many "flamers" in the real world, and they have more serious purposes than just having our attention, so ignoring them or hugging them back wouldn't be a good solution !" (Personal communication via E-mail)

Aother AGMer, also points out the differences between real life and Usenet, and explains why normally polite people would resort to flaming, while using the 'net:

"Hmmmm Maybe a bit similar to road-wars battled with cars which I sometimes experience on the road to work. People trying to go faster on the road by riding ones tails, honk, flash lights and push eachother from the road. Their anonymity is guaranteed by the number plate, and only this makes people feel in-power and behave like mad on the road (or on the net). In real live the same people can be very gentle and polite, and makes one ask: how can such a nice person do this, or turn in such a beast elsewhere ?" (Personal communication via E-mail)